Want a job as Tech Support?Customer: I'm trying to connect to
the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing
wrong?
Tech support : OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive,
right?
Customer: Yeah....
Tech support : And what sort of
computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a
computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises.
Listen.....
Tech support : Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!
Tech support : What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A
white one...
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette
out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the
button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support
: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a
minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk...
sorry....
Tech support : Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left
of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
Tech support
: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer : Hello... I can't
print.
Tech support : Would you click on "start" for me
and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm
not Bill Gates, damn it!
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha,
I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'.
I've even
lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still
says he can't find it...
Customer : I have problems printing in
red...
Tech support : Do you have a color printer?
Customer:
Aaaah............. thank you.
Tech support : What's on your monitor
now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the
supermarket.
Customer : My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support : Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer:
No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your
keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support :
Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support :
That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah... that one does
work
Tech support : Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a
capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in
capital letters?
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support : Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes,
I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support : Can you tell me
what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
Tech support :
What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support : That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh,
sorry...Internet Explorer.
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend
has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it
disappears.
Tech support : How may I help you?
Customer: I'm
writing my first e-mail.
Tech support : OK, and what seems to be the
problem?
Customer : Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but
how do I get the circle around it?
A woman customer called the Canon help
desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support : Are you running
it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that
is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window,
and his printer is working fine."
And last but not
least:....
Tech support : "Okay Bob, let's press the control and
escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the
screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program
Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support : On your
keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support :
"P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO
THAT!!
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